Finding Love in Unexpected Places: Your Drum as a Companion

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I’ve been reflecting on friendship, connection, and the many forms love takes in our lives. Here in Finland, we actually celebrate this day a bit differently – we call it Ystävänpäivä, Friend’s Day. Rather than focusing solely on romantic love, we honour all the meaningful connections in our lives: friends, family, and yes, even the relationship we have with ourselves.

If you’re spending this Friend’s Day without a romantic partner, you’re far from alone. Modern life has a curious way of leaving us simultaneously connected and isolated – scrolling through endless social feeds whilst feeling profoundly lonely.

Here’s something I’ve discovered through years of crafting drums: sometimes the most meaningful relationships aren’t with people at all.

The Drum That Listens

A shamanic drum makes an extraordinary companion. It never judges, never interrupts, and is always ready to meet you exactly where you are. Feeling joyful? Your drum celebrates with you. Grieving? It holds space for your sorrow. Confused? The steady rhythm can help untangle your thoughts.

When you sit with your drum, something remarkable happens. The rhythmic beating becomes a conversation – not with the drum itself, but with the deeper parts of yourself that often go unheard in the noise of daily life. It’s a form of self-love, really, this practice of listening to your own inner voice.

The Paradox of Solitude

Whilst a drum can be a wonderful companion, I want to be clear: it’s not a replacement for human connection. We’re social creatures, and genuine isolation isn’t healthy. But there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely, between solitude and isolation.

A drum practice can actually help bridge that gap. When you’re comfortable in your own company, when you’ve cultivated that inner connection through rhythm and meditation, you become more present and open in your relationships with others. You’re no longer seeking someone to complete you – you’re already whole, simply looking to share that wholeness.

Love Starts Within

The ancient wisdom keepers understood something we’re only now rediscovering: the journey inward is the path outward. By connecting with yourself – through drumming, through nature, through quiet contemplation – you build the foundation for all other connections.

Your drum can be part of that practice. It’s there on the difficult days when loneliness feels heavy. It’s there on the beautiful days when you want to celebrate being alive. It’s a faithful friend that helps you remember: you are never truly alone when you’re connected to yourself, to the earth, to the ancient rhythms that pulse through all living things.

This Friend’s Day, consider giving yourself the gift of presence. Whether you have a drum already or have been hesitating to begin your rhythmic journey, know this: the drum is waiting to meet you. Not to fill a void, but to help you discover that you’ve been complete all along.

And who knows? When you’re deeply connected to yourself, you might just find that other connections – friendships, community, perhaps even love – begin to flow more naturally into your life.